I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
