Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
