Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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