I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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