What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
