i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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