Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
