JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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