I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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