I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
