Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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