did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
