fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
