But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
