Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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