Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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