guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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