I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
