Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
