i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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