He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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