Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
