I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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