we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
