my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
