when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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