my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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