he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
