I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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