I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
