girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Holy shit dude........stairs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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