im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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