Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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