Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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