I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
