So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
