Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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