The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
