i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
