You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
where am i from again
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize