Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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