you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
