Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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