well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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