for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize