first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
