Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
