Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
