i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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