After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
