What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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