oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
