Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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