She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize