I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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