I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
