is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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