Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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