so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize