Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
