just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
