If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
