It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
