So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
