I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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