Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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