And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you win again, gameday.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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