i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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