i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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