I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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