The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
