I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
